So…it’s taken me a day or so, but I’ve finally processed my reaction to my experience with the Psychiatrist on Wednesday. With many thanks for all of your indignation on my behalf!!!
And thanks to Tim who also gave me more permission than I gave myself to have a process of realizing my feelings, rather than have the benefit of hindsight or being on the outside of the experience like all of you who read it.
I may not roar often – in fact, looking at Wednesday, I did what I often do lately – tunneled those feelings down into anxiety and sadness. It feels really healthy to do a little roaring. I aspire to be the tiger in this picture and am perhaps closer to the cat…but here I go:
Question A – If he didn’t know anything about “homos” (really? Have I really been so lucky to not encounter that language much at all in my life and certainly not directed at me…maybe I really have, anyway…) – how is it that he could so quickly come back with knowing that same sex marriages weren’t legal in VA, but they were in DC and MD? Awfully well-versed for being ignorant of an entire spectrum of people.
Point 1 – Taking care of me is a challenge for me. Especially when taking care of someone I love is another option. He is not someone I love. I do not need to take care of him by giving him the benefit of the doubt, educating him or excusing him. Even if he WERE someone that I love, his handling of my situation was not okay. I actually believebelieve that it’s not okay in the big philosophical view of the world. But it’s DEFINITELY not okay for me. Period end. (As Sohini would say).
Point 2 – I could just let it go. That’s a good start. I could also take some action – that’s even better! Anything from – call to ask if they have anyone on staff who is familiar with LGBT issues. Call to complain. Call my primary care office to let them know about my experience with their recommended practitioner.
Point 3 – I haven’t been very forthcoming in this blog about my own coming out process over the last couple years. Haven’t felt that I could really go there with everything else that was going on. And carrying worry about what you all would think and how you would correlate that with Nicole’s transition. Well – granted I’m sneaking this in in point 3 – but I’m kinda done with that. I’m trying to figure out who I am. I’ve had some big revelations of my own and I’m trying to figure out how to own all my pieces. One of them is a love for women. I’m generally not racing out to wrap myself in rainbow flags, but I’m telling you – I will hoist that flag in this situation on behalf of my partner AND for my own damn self!!
Especially given the continuation of the story…I called today to ask if they had any psychiatrists on the staff who were familiar with LGBT issues. The front desk didn’t know and said that I would have to talk to the intake person who was more familiar with the doctors. I left a message for her. When she called back (and left a message), she said that she had never heard of this L..G…G…L…B…T…whatever I was talking about. She didn’t know if any of the doctors had worked there but she would ask and find out. I called back, leaving a message, and I did choose to refrain from actually saying…”ARE YOU KIDDING ME?” but instead backed down to a growl (for now) and said, “I just want to clarify with you that LGBT stands for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgendered” and is the widely accepted acronym for that spectrum of people. It’s something that I want my doctors to be familiar with if they are going to work with me or anyone else on issues of anxiety, depression, adjustment disorder and so forth.” See? I don’t think I’ve reached tiger status yet. At least can we rate me as more than a “meow?” Please? I’m trying here!
If I get the chance to talk to her, I’ll definitely say that it’s not okay for an entire practice of psychiatric professionals in the suburbs of the Nation’s Capital to be ignorant of that acronym. It’s not okay on a lot of levels. If they carried a bias or were unwilling to work with “us,” that would suck, but would be almost easier to deal with. I would understand that better than being ignorant of it. Not in an urban area. Not in a psych profession. And that leads me to think that both the doctor and the practice are being deliberately, willfully ignorant and placing the onus on me to try and make that okay.
Guess what? It’s not okay! And…I am okay. Moreso than Wednesday!
THE GIRL IN THE MIRROR 
Outstanding posting. I’m so happy that you understand that it is NOT okay for the “professionals” to be ignorant and that you are okay.
Sent from my iPhone