Two weeks and two days post-surgery and I’ve felt (right at the two week mark, actually) that we’ve definitely entered the next stage of recovery.  I’m not exactly sure what that means, but let’s talk about it and find out!

A few things ushered in the new stage:

• The last two drains got a little unhappy over the weekend and they had us come in on Monday morning.  They ended up whirling around me, taking out the drains, clipping external stitches, packaging me back up and sending me on my way with full confidence.  It was just that my body was done with foreign objects, I guess!  So – drains out after 10 days!  WOOT!
• A little glimpse of shopping and future.  Being less encumbered, we went to get a few things – some support clothing (tank and spanx underwear) that we’d heard could gradually take the place of the surgical binder and bra, plus some house shorts and t-shirts that fit me.  It was a thrilling experience!  I could really see my body and how changed it was and was just so excited to be in that situation after a whole lifetime of dreaming and wondering if I’d ever get there.  The couple of times that I’ve worn what we bought – just full of awareness and awe and adjustment!
• Mom went back home.  I want you to imagine everything that the ideal Mom could be during this period of time…every way in which you might want that kind of care…that’s my Mom.  She fills that role to overflowing!   She took care of me, my partner, my dogs and our house.  She takes care of the physical and the emotional.  She is present at every moment, but never in the way and never overbearing.  She took care of herself too and we had a good time with conversations, movies and small adventures.  She didn’t step on Nelson’s toes or make him feel like he couldn’t or wouldn’t have taken care of me.  She’s just amazing!  And…it was time.  Dad missed her and things were coming up for them.  I had met the list of milestones that she had in her head…it was time.

So, stage two begins.

Physically, it’s just about good care and the passing of time.  All of the incisions except for the two tiny places where the last drains came out just need massaging with vitamin lotion 2-3 times a day (which is a LOT of surface!).  No more padding or gauze.  A good combination of taking it easy and moving about – slow but a good amount.  Sleeping is getting easier – I can be in our bed the whole night and find comfortable enough positions on my own.  Experimenting with various binders and compression garments to balance good support and a little more comfort.  Overall – still full of restrictions, but definitely improving steadily.  It’s a balance of pushing the envelope (which is inevitable for me) and being incredibly mindful.  No stupid moves.  No stubborn moves.

Emotionally, I’ll have to work harder in this stage to really start bringing to fruition the unique time that I want this summer to be.  The physical recovery won’t demand as much focus and I want to have and follow inspirations to work with music and writing in ways that I have not had the time to do.  I also want to balance my want/need for engaging with my family/friends/community with more options for spending time with myself.  I don’t want to feel bored, restless or impatient if I can help it.  I want to recognize opportunity to both relax differently and do different things.  And this stage is a real crux.  No driving yet.  No shopping yet (which could serve as a symbol of getting everything prepped to dive back into normal life).  Really just existing with all that’s around me!

A friend asked me last night what I’m playing while I recover – as in what computer game can I totally sink into to pass the time.  I could do that – get back into a World of Warcraft phase or pick up something new.  But I really don’t want something to take over my time like that.  I don’t want to just pass the time.  I want to live it and do something different with it.  I don’t want to dull it out!