No matter how I feel about it…we humans are simply not going to stick to a plan!  Or even know what the plan is most of the time!  And by plan, I am, of course, referring to MY plan for the universe as a whole.  It’s the only one that I can really speak to and even though I’d love to pull a Zaphod Beeblebrox (come on, now, look it up if you have to!), I guess that everyone is the same – only being able to truly speak for their own perspective.

The fuzziness that I speak of is built into all of us.  It’s the way that time passes and our feelings and perspectives change.  Our lives and all the things that make up our lives are part of a process.  And this is a good thing!   It’s the whole idea behind growing and learning, healing and hurting.  It’s how we love deeper and express ourselves more fully.  It’s the reason that “going with the flow” is such universal advice sometimes.

But it’s damnably hard to will into submission!  You can have the highest of hopes, the most comprehensive of plans, but you can’t make anything happen unless it wants to and you let it.   And if you think you can (like I have for years), you’re probably not seeing the whole picture.  Even if everything worked out as you wanted – it was because of many components, not just your perfect plan and indomitable willpower!

What brings on this philosophical outburst?  Simply the fact that I am facing an unchartered “re-entry” into my hodge-podge life and recognizing that my old tools of barreling through and applying heaps of energy, willpower and a work ethic on overdrive, is not only not what I WANT to do, but really isn’t the stellar approach that I thought it was.

Let’s not go too crazy – I am still going to be a lister  – though I’m finding it hard to get the comprehensive list together just yet!  I think that is because many of the components of what I want to do and what I want to have priority are now intangibles.  They are ways of being rather than things that need done.  And a list seems to crowd my space to think at the moment.  Of course, the lack of list makes me panic a little and I worry that I’m not thinking of all the things that I should be.  I wonder if I could trust that the things that need to get done will get done?  Should I try a non-listing experiment?

<SHUDDER>  <ACK>  <BLANCH>

I’m not sure I can do that.  Maybe I’ll just start with not worrying that I don’t have a list yet and see how it goes?

Oh dear…perhaps the way ahead is more unchartered than I even thought when I started writing!  Damn this blog!